I have always been a vision chaser. I see something I want to achieve and I go at it full boar. I give everything I have until I have nothing left to give and then I give it a little more so I can cross the finish line. Once a goal is complete, I will sometimes take a break on goal chasing but sometimes I have other, less important or less urgent, goals I need to finish so I will shift gears towards those.
Recently I completed an industry certification that I had been working on for months - just under 6 months actually. While I’m glad it’s finally complete, I am finding myself struggling to move on to other goals. I am working on a second masters degree as well and in the final week of my third course. After this I will have a one week break before starting the next five week course.
Something continues to itch me though - like I’m missing something I need to be doing. Or I haven’t quite discovered it yet but it’s very close. Like in the game of hot/cold - I am hot - blazing hot - on FIRE! But I just can’t quite seem to find what I’m looking for.
I have been learning about the 12 week year and plan to start using it. The problem is I’m not sure what goals to set. And the more I think about it, the more I realize I’m a bit lost on what my BIG goal is. I used to know but the thing is…. I achieved all my BIG goals. I’ve done it. I’m where I envisioned myself being. And now I’m not sure what that next step is - what my next really BIG goal should be.
I have always loved writing and something is pushing me towards that again but… what should I write? That is partly why I started up this blog - to give me an outlet for writing with the intent of free flowing thoughts onto a page and possibly achieving a break through.
In the meantime, I set up a domain to host these thoughts: stoicangel.com. I’m using Notion to write these pages because it allows me the best writing experience with no friction. I simply open Notion, select my Blog, click “New” and start typing. It syncs to a service that then publishes it for the world to see. I have developed websites since I was 18 years old - back in the HTML days (late 90’s) and specialize in WordPress sites and you know what? This is just so much faster and easier if all you plan to do is throw words on a page and aren’t in it for personal gain.
Anyway, I chose the name StoicAngel for a reason so let’s do a Stoic thought of the day:
I just Googled a random stoic quote and this one could not be more fitting given what I just posted above. I think this sums up where I feel I’m at right now - a puppet on a string. I am doing what everyone else needs and wants me to do. And while I KNOW my personal power, it feels like I used a lot of it to get where I’m at and am now in a lull. Perhaps it’s in hibernation? How do I wake it back up? What do I need to do to get that spark flowing again? It’s there; I can feel it. But yet it evades me.
Oh well, tomorrow is another day. Hopefully my inner power wakes up from it’s nap soon!